The Vikings have the week off, so I'm going to the circus. These are my predictions for week 5 in the NFL (Home teams in CAPS):
HOUSTON over Miami
Miami is paying for being the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad to Daunte Culpepper's Black Mamba. That dude deserved his revenge last week, and those Dolphins deserve to lose, which they will continue to do this week and into the foreseeable future.
Jacksonville over KANSAS CITY
The Jags are coming off a bye, no doubt well-rested and brushed-up on Seinfeld reruns. Meanwhile, KC is due for a letdown after beating those lame-ass Chargers.
NEW ENGLAND over Cleveland
Here's a fun statistic: Randy Moss' quarterback this year is Tom Brady (#12). Moss' QB during his rookie season was Randall Cunningham (#7). And 12 times 7 equals 84, Moss' classic number! Coincidence or Conspiracy? You decide. P.S. I predict Moss has 3 TD's in this game. A "Freak Show," if you will.
NEW ORLEANS over Carolina
I'm starting to think that it was a good thing the Vikings didn't sign David Carr during the offseason. The guy's no Todd Bouman. Anyway, New Orleans really needs this win or they are officially irrelevant this season, except as a potential spoiler that might be able to shatter the playoff hopes of a team or two in the final weeks, of course.
NY GIANTS over NY Jets
The battle of New York is between two pretty disappointing teams. Of the two, the Giants, with the Manning-Burress combo, seem to have a bit more punch.
PITTSBURGH over Seattle
Steelers are bigger, faster, stronger. With each team at 3-1, this game could be a good example of the AFC's superiority.
Arizona over ST. LOUIS
The Rams are so in shambles, they could be called the Rambles. And part-time QB Kurt Warner will be happy to make his old team look foolish. Larry Fitzgerald (the future Viking) should have a big game.
TENNESSEE over Atlants
Vince Young is a winner. The 2007 Falcons are not.
WASHINGTON over Detroit
This one's a tough pick. The Lions can be explosive, but I don't think they're consistent enough to beat a rested 'Shington on the road.
INDIANAPOLIS over Tampa Bay
This will be a good game. I think Dungy's knowledge of the Buc team that he built in the late 90's will be enough to give the Cults the edge.
San Diego over DENVER
The Chargers need a win as badly as the Saints do. They better get it, or it'll be a deep situation.
Baltimore over San Francisco
The Revenge of Trent Dilfer falls 13 points short.
GREEN BAY over Chicago
Favre is on a role. Imagine if they'd been able to aquire Moss, as they halfheartedly attempted.
Dallas over BUFFALO
This should be a blow out, a national showcase for one of the best teams of the year, the Cowboys. Anything else would be uncivilized.
your friend, BECK DEROBERTIS