BRING MOSS BACK!

2011-11-20T23:28:00.001-12:00

2011-11-20T23:27:00.001-12:00

2011-11-20T23:26:00.000-12:00

2011-11-20T22:50:00.000-12:00

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2011-11-20T22:47:00.001-12:00

2011-09-19T16:22:00.000-12:00

Introducing Your 2011 Moss Mania Fantasy Squad:

2011-09-04T18:36:00.006-12:00

Matthew Berry on Vick: " If Michael Vick is as good as he was last season and stays healthy all year, you win your league. Period. And he's the only guy you can say that about."

Roddy White - a cross between Randy Moss and Jack White?

Dez Bryant. There's a lot of badasses on this team, that's for sure.

This year, Percy Harvin is gonna be a real headache for opposing defenses.

You're damn right I drafted Moss. When he rejoins the Vikings in week 4, I'm gonna look like a genius.

Bernard Berrian will either form a dynamic connection with Donovan McNabb, or be swiftly released from the Moss Mania squad. From a reality football perspective, I definitely hope it's the former.

Cedric Benson: This team has a rap sheet a mile long.

Mark Ingram may play for the most corrupt team in football, but some are predicting he'll win Rookie of the Year.

Bill Simmons nicknamed him Michael "Seventies" Bush. Brilliant.

Running back by committee. That's my mantra.

Taiwan Jones. That's one hell of a goddamn name.

BenJarvus Green-Ellis. Aka The Law Firm.

As a member of the hated Green Bay Packers, Jermichael Finley is the Adam Banks of the team. He might not be a real Duck, but we'll take his scoring until he breaks his wrist in the playoffs.

Nick Folk is sure to be the odd man out at team functions.

I expect New England's defense to be good, because they won't have to be on the field that much.

Moss Mania 2011 is going all the way. And that's all there is to it.

2011-09-04T17:07:00.001-12:00

A Disturbing Report Has Emerged That Randy Moss is Retiring

2011-08-01T05:06:00.003-12:00

This is not what I had in mind. I believe this just like I believed that Jay-Z was retiring in 2003.

Super Freak Forever.

2011-07-25T22:25:00.001-12:00

ILLEGAL FORMATION // Episode 4

2011-04-21T09:35:00.002-12:00

Check out my optimistic view of the 2011 Vikings season (if there is one) at MPLS.tv

Coincidence? No.

2011-03-31T12:12:00.001-12:00

A stunning similarity between two of the greatest art works of our time.

ILLEGAL FORMATION // Episode 3

2011-03-31T06:28:00.001-12:00

My look at the Twins' 2011 season (baseball knowledge not included) on MPLS.tv

BEAT GREEN BAY! FIRE CHILDRESS! FAVRE 4EVER!

2010-11-20T19:40:00.001-12:00

Design by Wyatt Holiway!

WATCH THIS FOX 9 NEWS STORY!

2010-11-19T16:46:00.003-12:00

This video features some footage of our first protest against the dastardly Childress regime.

BRING MOSS BACK IN THE NEW YORK TIMES!

2010-11-10T17:34:00.002-12:00

Our intense anger toward Childress caught the attention of the New York Times!

"Fans arriving for the Vikings-Arizona Cardinals game were met at the corner of Chicago Avenue and Fifth Street by a young man in a Randy Moss No. 84 jersey, a purple tailcoat, a Vikings knit cap and a bullhorn. Beck DeRobertis, 25, of Minneapolis, tried to start a “Fire Childress” chant while three friends held signs asking for the same thing. A number of fans photographed DeRobertis with digital cameras and cellphones, and several posed for pictures with him."

Click here to read the full piece!

WCCO COVERED OUR 'FIRE CHILDRESS NOW!' PROTEST!

2010-11-10T17:21:00.002-12:00

Outside the Metrodome on Sunday, some rowdy friends and I spread the word about the immediate need to make the coward Brad Childress redundant. WCCO included us in a piece about the fans' widespread dissatisfaction with that creepy bastard.

Click here to watch the clip!

SUPER FREAKY TEE FROM SKOL VIKES!

2010-11-10T09:51:00.003-12:00

The unjust release of Moss still stings. Keep the memory of Moss as a Viking alive with this elegant shirt from Skol Vikes!

They're available at the low price of $15 (+$6 shipping). Cop one now. Don't worry, they'll take other methods of payment besides straight cash, homie.

IF A CHILDRESS JERSEY EXISTED, WE'D SET IT ON FIRE!

2010-11-05T19:12:00.003-12:00

Childress' reign of terror must end. Take a look at these spectacular designs by Joseph Hrabe!

84,000,000,000 FANS CAN'T BE WRONG!

2010-11-03T18:20:00.002-12:00

Join the movement!

Image by Joseph Hrabe.

THE FREAK IS GONE. CHILDRESS MUST PAY!

2010-11-02T10:00:00.004-12:00

If Brad Childress is still employed by the Minnesota Vikings this Sunday, we will be protesting outside Gate F of the Metrodome around 11 AM! Look for us! Bring a "FIRE CHILDRESS" sign! Wear an 84 jersey! This aggression will not stand!

Let's send that villainous bastard Childress to the unemployment line!

In the mean time, take a look at these sites dedicated to canning this epic moron:

FireChilly.com

GiveChildressTheBoot.com

And, don't forget to sign this petition to FIRE CHILDRESS!

VOTE MOSS ONE OF 50 GREATEST ALL-TIME VIKINGS!

2010-10-26T09:57:00.002-12:00

As part of the Vikings' 50th season celebration, fans have the opportunity to vote for the 50 Greatest Vikings of all time. Moss obviously deserves to be on this list, so go vote for him! Voting goes until November 29th, and you can vote as many times as you want, so be sure to stuff the ballot box in the name of Randy Moss: the greatest Viking ever!

GREAT DEALS ON MOSS PATRIOTS MERCH!

2010-10-26T09:41:00.004-12:00

Head to the Patriots team store, and you can cop one of these spectacular Moss bobbleheads for only 5 bucks! And you can get a Moss Patriots jersey for $20-25! Hardcore Moss enthusiasts should act fast, because this stuff will be pretty hard to find in the near future (unless you hit the Boston thrift store scene). Just be sure not to wear your Moss Pats jersey this Sunday.

HOT BOOTLEG MOSS SHIRTS ON EBAY!

2010-10-20T15:48:00.007-12:00

There are some titillating new (and old) Moss T-shirts available on EBay. Take a look:

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

Buy it here.

BRING THE LAKERS BACK TO MINNEAPOLIS!

2010-10-20T10:56:00.003-12:00

Now that Moss is back, I propose that we trade the Timberwolves to Los Angeles, in exchange for the Minneapolis Lakers. They can keep Kobe Bryant. L.A. can rename the Timberwolves the Hollywood Hills or something (Heidi Montag could be their mascot). Then we can bring KG back to 'Sota, and maybe even reunite Shaq O'Neal with the Lakers franchise (he might be past his prime, but he's still one of the best personalities in the NBA).

One of the best parts will be that the Lakers and Vikings will match! Moss could probably play for the Lakers, after he retires from the Vikings. Even if he ends up being just a role player on the court, the fans will go wild. And, as hardcore Moss enthusiasts already know, Moss was actually a pretty devastating b-ball player in his high school days. In fact, some Moss scholars actually believe that Moss' best sport in high school was baseball! But that's a story for another day...

If these fantastical events occur, the only thing MN sports will need to achieve maximum awesomeness is this:

Have a magical day, and a critically acclaimed tomorrow!

RANDY MOSS UNVEILS A NEW WEBSITE!

2010-10-15T16:28:00.006-12:00

The Great 84 has launched a new website to commemorate his reunion with the best team in football. Check it out! You can register to receive Moss updates, and win Mosstastic merch.

I'll say one thing: the merch sold on Moss' website doesn't live up to the awesomeness of Moss himself. I demand better Moss merch! It's what 84 deserves. If the NFL, the Vikings, and Moss' management team don't meet the demand for freaktacular Moss merch, then Moss fans need to take charge.

If anybody makes some sweet Moss gear, send me a picture, and I'll post it up like Shaq O'Neal in his prime.

2010-10-15T08:01:00.000-12:00

WE FINALLY GOT THE BAND BACK TOGETHER!

2010-10-15T07:24:00.002-12:00

This is a drawing I did on a paper bag while working at Lowry Hill Liquor in the summer of 2009. The dream is now a reality. I'm titillated to say that I'm wearing a brand new Moss t-shirt. Now, they just need to make a shirt with pictures of our Big 3 (Moss, Favre, and Peterson) on them, and I'll really be living a teenage dream. If I don't see a shirt like that soon, then damnit, I'm just gonna have to make it myself.

Stay tuned for predictions on Moss' Homecoming game against Romo and the Robotic Cowboys.

THE OFFICIAL LIQUOR STORE OF BRING MOSS BACK!

2010-10-15T07:03:00.003-12:00

This is the cast of Lowry Hill Liquor on the night before last year's NFC Championship game. We had no idea what was coming.

Stop by Lowry Hill Liquor for all your beverage needs, and don't forget to grab some complimentary ice, matches, and pens! Just a couple of everyday values at the Finest Liquor Store in Town.

Have a magical day, and an elegant tomorrow!

Escape From New Jersey: Moss' First Game Back!

2010-10-11T09:38:00.003-12:00

It's really happening.

The Ultimate Vikings will take the field in prime time tonight, complete with the best wide receiver in NFL history. I'll be at Joe Senser's in Bloomington to watch the first episode of Moss To The Future 2. I can't wait for the first deep pass from no. 4 to no. 84. The crowd at Senser's will go absolutely bananas. The Vikings will instantly jump 10 spots in the ESPN NFL Power Rankings. Moss and Favre will be on the cover of next week's Sports Illustrated (hold the jinx, please). Every other team in the league will collectively mumble a variety of expletives. Big game. No, gigantic game.

A "W" tonight makes the Vikings the favorites in the NFC, which suddenly looks wide open. The two biggest threats going into the season, the hated Packers and the morally reprehensible Saints, both currently look like total crap. The only other team in the conference that really looks worth a damn is the Atlanta Falcons. Maybe the Vikings will get the chance to exact bloody playoff revenge on the Dirty Birds for the famously excruciating defeat of 1998. That would be glorious. Full circle for the Moss era. Man, that week 2 loss to the Dolphins seems like a long time ago.

I expect Moss to put on a Freak Show on the national stage. He'll put up something like 3 TD's and 150 yards, and he'll tell Darelle "Payday" Revis to sit on it. Classic 84. Favre will have so much fun that he'll forget all about SextGate. The defense will stick it to sulking-expert LaDainian Tomlinson for not signing with the Purple last spring. It's going to be an emotional Vikings win, 30-23.

No matter the score, this is a landmark Vikings game. It feels like the true start of the season. Not even a Viking loss tonight can dampen the excitement of The Freaquel (copyright: Common Man). Moss is back. And where there's Moss, there's hope.

Have a championship-caliber night, and a Freaktastic tomorrow!

In All of the World So Far, He's the Greatest Star!

2010-10-11T09:21:00.003-12:00

DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE: MOSS RETURNS!

2010-10-06T15:51:00.001-12:00

CLOSE TO VICTORY: BRING MOSS BACK FOREVER

2010-10-05T14:34:00.007-12:00

It's Finally Here: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2009-12-16T12:34:00.005-12:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY is a short movie directed by Ryan Thompson. I star in it, playing a character that will be familiar to anyone who's perused this site before. HAPPY BIRTHDAY recently was named Best Short at the Minneapolis Underground Film Festival (MUFF). Watch it today!

WARNING: This motion picture contains material that may be unsuitable for persons under 18.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IS SHOWING AT MUFF!

2009-11-04T17:45:00.003-12:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY is a short film by Ryan Thompson. It stars me (Beck D.) as a Moss enthusiast. It features some laughs, as well as some nudity.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY is showing at the Minneapolis Underground Film Festival as part of a shorts program on December 5th, 2009 at 4:30 PM.

Come see the short that some critics are calling "A must see for fans of awesomeness."

Get the details here.

NEW VIDEO: LEFTOVERS WITH DENVER (THE PILOT)!

2008-07-21T16:36:00.002-12:00

This is the long lost pilot episode of the cooking show slash sitcom "Leftovers With Denver," hosted and written by Denver Kaufman. Watch what happens when the Bring Moss Back campaign lends its support to the baking of a delicious sweet potato dream pie!

BECAUSE YOU DEMANDED IT: MOSS vs. JESUS!

2008-07-21T16:31:00.004-12:00

Find out what happens when a Randy Moss fanatic and a J.C. fanatic cross paths! Not for the right-wing squares!

NEW VIDEO: A LAZY SUNDAY IN DINKYTOWN!

2008-07-21T16:29:00.001-12:00

Also, this is the site's 84th post. C'MON!

ROOSEVELT ROCKED CHUCK'S JULY 4TH BLOCK PARTY!

2008-07-10T06:46:00.004-12:00

Roosevelt played a raucous headlining set at Chuck's Block Party. Kron called it the worst show we've ever played, which I think is a load of crap. Here are some photos:

MEET LIL' BLONDIE POUNCEWORTH!

2008-07-10T06:29:00.006-12:00

NEW VIDEO: CRIS CARTER vs. SHAWN CARTER aka JAY-Z!

2008-06-29T10:03:00.001-12:00

NEW VIDEO: RANDY MOSS HIGHLIGHTS!

2008-06-27T17:58:00.002-12:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: THE DEATH OF A BUTTON SALESMAN

2008-06-18T22:35:00.007-12:00

THE RIVERDALE CREW SAYS BRING MOSS BACK TOO!

2008-06-18T10:30:00.002-12:00

BECAUSE LA LOHAN SHOULD'VE PLAYED JEAN GREY!

2008-06-15T17:43:00.004-12:00

NOW YOU CAN BRING MOSS BACK TO YOUR SUPER NES!

2008-06-11T11:23:00.001-12:00

AND NOW, A FINE PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!

2008-06-04T08:56:00.002-12:00

RED HOT ART FESTIVAL WAS A SPECTACULAR TIME!

2008-06-02T19:30:00.010-12:00

Thanks to everybody who came! Bring Moss Back and BJ Art Collective will be there again in 2009!

ROCK, ROCK, ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK TONIGHT!

2008-05-27T16:11:00.004-12:00

FASHION TRADING CARDS AVAILABLE AT RED HOT ART!

2008-05-19T09:23:00.006-12:00

BECAUSE RHODA WAS MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN MARY!

2008-05-17T17:06:00.007-12:00

JUST SOME LIGHT HEARTED CAMPAIGN PROPAGANDA!

2008-05-13T08:05:00.003-12:00

I'LL BE REPRESENTING AT THE RED HOT ART FESTIVAL!

2008-05-06T11:02:00.004-12:00

Jenna Brouse and I will have a table there, where we will be pedaling One Night Lexicons, plush Juno the Cat dolls, Bring Moss Back kitsch, and more! Come and visit us! Learn more about Red Hot Art here.

JENNA BROUSE BLOGS ABOUT JUNO THE CAT!

2008-05-02T09:45:00.002-12:00

Read her blog, it rules: http://blog.jennabrouse.com/

PRO-MOSS BAND ROOSEVELT SET TO RETURN TO STAGE!

2008-05-02T08:08:00.002-12:00

I hope they play "Keith & Ronald."

2008-05-01T03:33:00.003-12:00

OK SODA: PROUD BRING MOSS BACK SPONSOR!

2008-04-29T18:35:00.001-12:00

I MADE THIS POSTCARD FOR A HARRIBLE GRAPHIC DESIGN CLASS

2008-04-29T15:25:00.000-12:00

MILES AND MILES OF STYLES

2008-04-29T06:39:00.004-12:00

*I sincerely hope the above advertisement had no "jynx" effect on the travesty that occurred in Super Bowl 42.

BRING MOSS BACK BUTTONS: BUY THEM ON THE STREETS!

2008-04-25T07:07:00.007-12:00

Free with a $1 BRING MOSS BACK Campaign Donation. Or just print these out yourself:

SOMEDAY, THE SITE MIGHT LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THIS

2008-04-23T14:03:00.005-12:00

BRING MOSS BACK PARAPHERNALIA COMING SOON!

2008-04-23T10:38:00.003-12:00

FEMININE FASHIONS FOR SUPER FREAKS!

2008-04-22T07:04:00.006-12:00

2008-04-21T14:00:00.001-12:00

2008-04-20T17:27:00.001-12:00

NOW, IMAGINE THE IMPACT THIS BANNER WOULD'VE HAD IF IT WERE DISPLAYED AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE!

2008-04-16T08:16:00.002-12:00

CAMPAIGN FILMS

2008-04-13T13:01:00.004-12:00

Meet Juno Meowstein

2008-04-07T07:45:00.002-12:00

This is my beautiful cat. She's a big Randy Moss fan just like her old man. Here, she models her Moss cape, custom made for her by Jenna Brouse.

Revenge of the Blog

2008-04-01T08:27:00.002-12:00

Hey, friends. I've been being lazy on the blog scene for over a year now, and it's time for that to change. It's time to Blog Moss Back! I promise to resume posting regularly on this very site, and also to finally unveil the long-awaited Bring Moss Back Official Web Site. It's going to be hot.

Recently, I got to be part of a super-cool dyptich portrait series by the fabulous Mary Lucic. Here's my entry:

Also, I've posted a bunch of new videos to my YouTube page. More coming soon. Check 'em out.

That's all for now, blog to you soon.

2007-10-07T02:39:00.000-12:00

The Vikings have the week off, so I'm going to the circus. These are my predictions for week 5 in the NFL (Home teams in CAPS):

HOUSTON over Miami
Miami is paying for being the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad to Daunte Culpepper's Black Mamba. That dude deserved his revenge last week, and those Dolphins deserve to lose, which they will continue to do this week and into the foreseeable future.

Jacksonville over KANSAS CITY
The Jags are coming off a bye, no doubt well-rested and brushed-up on Seinfeld reruns. Meanwhile, KC is due for a letdown after beating those lame-ass Chargers.

NEW ENGLAND over Cleveland
Here's a fun statistic: Randy Moss' quarterback this year is Tom Brady (#12). Moss' QB during his rookie season was Randall Cunningham (#7). And 12 times 7 equals 84, Moss' classic number! Coincidence or Conspiracy? You decide. P.S. I predict Moss has 3 TD's in this game. A "Freak Show," if you will.

NEW ORLEANS over Carolina
I'm starting to think that it was a good thing the Vikings didn't sign David Carr during the offseason. The guy's no Todd Bouman. Anyway, New Orleans really needs this win or they are officially irrelevant this season, except as a potential spoiler that might be able to shatter the playoff hopes of a team or two in the final weeks, of course.

NY GIANTS over NY Jets
The battle of New York is between two pretty disappointing teams. Of the two, the Giants, with the Manning-Burress combo, seem to have a bit more punch.

PITTSBURGH over Seattle
Steelers are bigger, faster, stronger. With each team at 3-1, this game could be a good example of the AFC's superiority.

Arizona over ST. LOUIS
The Rams are so in shambles, they could be called the Rambles. And part-time QB Kurt Warner will be happy to make his old team look foolish. Larry Fitzgerald (the future Viking) should have a big game.

TENNESSEE over Atlants
Vince Young is a winner. The 2007 Falcons are not.

WASHINGTON over Detroit
This one's a tough pick. The Lions can be explosive, but I don't think they're consistent enough to beat a rested 'Shington on the road.

INDIANAPOLIS over Tampa Bay
This will be a good game. I think Dungy's knowledge of the Buc team that he built in the late 90's will be enough to give the Cults the edge.

San Diego over DENVER
The Chargers need a win as badly as the Saints do. They better get it, or it'll be a deep situation.

Baltimore over San Francisco
The Revenge of Trent Dilfer falls 13 points short.

GREEN BAY over Chicago
Favre is on a role. Imagine if they'd been able to aquire Moss, as they halfheartedly attempted.

Dallas over BUFFALO
This should be a blow out, a national showcase for one of the best teams of the year, the Cowboys. Anything else would be uncivilized.

2007-09-30T15:41:00.000-12:00

They Put Up My Picture In Silence, Cuz My Identity By Itself Causes Violence

2007-03-07T16:49:00.000-12:00

Some JA at Sports illustrated wrote this article about how our man Randy Moss is berry berry bad. These goddamn philistines. Moss is an artist with a football (check out the movie below if yer not yet hip to that fact). This alleged "writer" needs to watch his back, cuz the A*H crew gon' cap his ass. BRING MOSS BACK TO THE MN VIKES.

Excuse the harrible soundtrack. The Moss magic will make up for it:

A sad note: There used to be a way better Moss highlight reel on YouTube that was set to a kitschy rap song titled "Pull A Randy Moss." Apparently, the NFL spazzed and it was taken down. God, I miss that video.

It's Today! It's Today! The NFL Playoffs Are Here!

2007-01-06T07:30:00.000-12:00

For months, I've been telling my friends four things:

1. In 2007, we're going to bring Randy Moss back to the Minnesota Vikings.

2. Don't listen to the conservative A-Holes who'll try to tell you that pubic hair causes crime. Bush is back, baby. Rejoice.

3. Dave Eggers is a wack sucker built on all style and no substance (and, as Cole Larson will tell you, his style ain't even that hot) and one of these years, I'm going to write a book that will blow his Headaching Work Of Staggering Lameness right outta the water. I'm talking One-Eight-Seven with a dick in yo' mouth, beeyatch.

and 4. This year's Super Bowl will feature the San Diego Chargers and the Dallas Cowboys.

Now that the playoffs are here, I'll admit that I'm having some doubts about my fourth proclamation. Dallas struggled down the stretch, even losing to quintessential NFL JA's the Detroit Lions. And the Baltimore Ravens seem to be a hot team in the AFC, with a defense that could possibly bottle-up the Bolts' Superman, Ladanian Tomlinson. But you know what? I'm sticking with Chargers-Cowboys. In a league where anything can happen and locks don't exist, making predictions is like playing bingo, or maybe pin-the-tail-on-the-Lohan. I'll stay with my plan A prediction. That way, even if I'm wrong, those Republican sons of bitches can never call me a flip-flopper. These are my picks for Wild Card Weekend:

COLTS over Chiefs

Cowboys over SEAHAWKS

EAGLES over Giants

PATRIOTS over Jets

It's like that, and that's the way it is.

Coca-Cola Is Number One

2006-10-24T16:32:00.000-12:00

2006-07-03T09:50:00.001-12:00

A beatmaster and an MC. Centuries can't keep them apart. Together, they must bring the Rock of the Ages.

Postmodern Pornography

2006-04-04T16:36:00.000-12:00

Big Outrageous Sound Club

2006-02-21T20:57:00.000-12:00

Whole Lotta Lawry's

2006-01-29T19:28:00.000-12:00

The best f***ing spice in town.

Through some strange turns of event, these pictures were taken in sequence

2006-01-27T13:34:00.000-12:00

Have a great day.

The Randy Moss Trade- A Very Harrible Thing

2005-02-24T09:28:00.000-12:00

First, Hunter S. Thompson dies, and then the Vikings trade Randy Moss. It almost feels like this week could not get any worse. Additionally, I’ve just learned that my bank account is overdrawn. It’s all an outrage, but especially the Moss trade.
I have no idea what the Vikings were thinking when they traded away Moss, their best player, for a linebacker and a draft pick. It’s true that the Vikings badly needed some help on defense, but Randy Moss cannot be replaced. He made brilliant catches every week. When the ball hit his hands, it looked like a bird returning to its nest. His fourth quarter touchdown reception beat the much hated Green Bay Packers in the playoffs; a win that should be regarded as legendary for a team that has struggled the past four years to get anything done.
Moss has given Minnesota so much, and then he walks off the field one time and he’s finished? If that sort of logic had ruled my fourth grade soccer team, I would’ve been released many times over.
Not only is Moss a fantastic player, but he’s funny, as well. Remember the time he squirted water on a referee during a loss to the Rams? Hilarious! And after members of the square media criticized his spirited end zone celebration during the Packer win, Moss demanded that they “Talk about the ‘W’” instead. He’s like a young Eddie Murphy. I mean, he’s been fined on multiple occasions for verbally abusing referees and team executives. Wonderful! He was the heart and soul of this Viking team!
But maybe the trade was not the organization’s decision. Maybe Moss wanted out. Maybe he’s had enough of Mike Tice’s impotent leadership and Daunte Culpepper’s small hands and, of course, the terrible defense. Maybe he was sick of the cold and decided it was time to move on. If this is the case, I have one question for you, Randy: Do you think Oakland is going to be any better? It will be warmer, yes, but that’s pretty much all it has going for it. For the past two years, Oakland has been one of the worst teams in the league, ever since its center got so drunk that he forgot to show up to the Super Bowl. Does Moss realize that in Oakland, the kicker is the hardest guy on the team? Honestly. Rich Gannon might have 3 or 4 good games left in him, but next year he and Clint Eastwood are rooming together at the nursing home. Did anybody see Eastwood on the cover of Entertainment Weekly recently? When I saw that wrinkled face on the cover, I thought it was a magazine about taxidermy for humans. But, I digress.
Perhaps Randy Moss is looking to start a comedy duo with Raiders defensive end Warren Sapp, something in the tradition of Laurel and Hardy. But in any case, I really think this whole trade thing is a bad idea. What am I supposed to do with my Randy Moss action figure now, paint it black?

This is new.

2005-02-21T15:44:00.000-12:00

The first installment is coming soon. Real soon.